


You'll never understand

by Pheromonecvltx



Series: Vessel Songfics [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Asexual Tyler, Depression, Gay Josh, Guns For Hands, I'm so sorry, M/M, References to Suicide, Songfic, i just needed to make it fit, im a bad person, its barely even bad okay, no happy endings here, read the archive warnings oka, references to self harm, this is really bad, this is really mean, trigger warning, tw self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:06:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5798209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheromonecvltx/pseuds/Pheromonecvltx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler is Sad. And that makes Josh sad.<br/>----<br/>Kinda a songfic for guns for hands</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'll never understand

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags before reading this okay. I'm aware this is bad. Thanks.

Tyler was only seventeen. Josh Dun had been his best friend for ten of those years.

Josh Dun was everything Tyler was not. Josh was a happy guy, Tyler was not. Josh was loud and sociable, Tyler was not. Josh wasn't afraid what people would think of him, Tyler was. The guy was his best friend though, and Josh loved him more than anything.

When Tyler stopped replying to Josh's texts suddenly one night, Josh was concerned. He was afraid Tyler was hurting himself. He did that a lot. Too much for Josh's liking. He decided he would call over to Tyler's house in the morning, just to make sure things were okay.

Tyler loved Josh. Too much, in his own opinion. He loved him so much it hurt him to see Josh talk to anyone else, to flirt with girls. Tyler had to hold back tears everytime Josh left him at a party or gave his phone number to a girl.

That night he got so frustrated. He ignored Josh all night and fell asleep on his bedroom floor, with the curtains. He woke up from the sun shining in his eyes through the window. His mom opened up his door, presuming he was awake and somewhat decent, after all, it was 10am.

"Oh my god Tyler, what the hell, what have you done to yourself?" Tyler had forgotten about the huge cuts that lined his arms. His mom looked so upset, like she was about to burst into tears. Tyler bit his lip. "Mom, I swear it'll never happen again." He meant it. He always felt so bad about it.

"I know what that means Tyler, this is the third time." His mom was in tears by now and she put his arms around him pulling him into a hug. "We'll get you the help you need, okay sweetie." Tyler frowned. "I don't need help, mom. I'm fine. It's not gonna happen again." Tyler's mom looked him up and down. He'd lost so much weight, stopped going to church, he was spending so much time alone, she was worried.

Tyler's mom was going to start talking again, but she was interrupted by a ring on the doorbell. His dad went to open it. It was Josh Dun, smiling widely with a bag of some kind of food in his hand. His blue hair was dishevelled, and Tyler thought it was one of the most beautiful things in the world.

"Hi Mr Dun, how you doing, is Tyler here? Can I hang out with him?" Josh was polite. Ha, Tyler thought, like I'd be hanging out with anyone else. "Hello Joshua, sure, Tyler is with his mom upstairs I think, come on in."

Josh saw Tyler standing on top of the stairs and he smiled a genuine smile. He had perfect teeth. "Hey Tyler, man, how you doing?" Then he saw what Tyler had done. The cuts. It bothered him. He acted like he saw nothing. 

He pulled Tyler into a hug. Tyler was just limp in his arms and that broke his heart. Tyler's mom patted him on the back and went downstairs. "Hi Josh, you're here early." It was all Tyler could say. He didn't really feel anything at that moment.

Josh pulled Tyler back to his bedroom and got a sweater out of his drawer, so that Tyler wouldn't be able to see his arms. It tended to make him more upset. He pulled off the t-shirt that Tyler had on carefully. Tyler didn't try to resist.

Josh helped Tyler put on his sweater. "Ty, I've told you to stop, how many times have I told you to stop. I'm not encouraging this, it's dangerous. You need to get help. I'll help you get help. You can't pretend how your acting is okay, because you know it's not. It's hurting everyone around you. It's hurting me. I love you bro. We all love you." He pulled Tyler into a hug.

"It won't happen again." Josh knew what that meant. Tyler was only thinking about how Josh didn't love him in the right way. Josh smiled and Tyler's heart melted. "I brought you food. It's McDonald's, but yeah, you need to eat." Tyler grabbed the box. He would eat for Josh, he'd do anything for Josh.

"Wow Ty, I'm proud of you." Josh said, and Tyler could tell he meant it. He really did mean it. "I'm going to get your mom to get you a therapist. You need one." Tyler tensed up. "It's been three years. Three years of me constantly being worried about you."

Tyler shook his head. "No. I can't do it. I just can't Josh. You don't get it. The thought of going into someone and talking about my feelings. It makes me want to be sick." He thought he was going to sick. Josh pulled him into his chest. "It's going to be okay."

"Just take it a second at a time." Tyler breathed in and out, listening to Josh's voice. It was going to be okay. "Do you want to go outside or something, go for a walk." Tyler stopped breathing. The thought of going outside was terrifying. 

"There's hope out the window." Josh said it surely. "That's where we'll go." Tyler's mind was brought back to the times they had spent when they were younger, climbing out of each other's windows to meet up in the middle of the night. "C'mon. It'll be fun man. Remind us of old times." 

Tyler needed help getting out of the window. Well, Josh wasn't sure if he needed it, but he was going to help him anyway. Tyler laughed as soon as he got to the hard cement of his driveway. Josh liked Tyler's laugh. "Man, I can't believe we're actually outside." It had been weeks since Tyler left the top floor of his house.

"Let's go into town." Josh's suggestion made Tyler feel really uncomfortable. "No man. I don't think so. I might see someone I know or something. No man." Josh reached out for Tyler's hand. "Hold my hand okay. It's gonna be fine." Tyler shook his head. "You'll never understand." 

Josh grinned. "I might never understand, but I want to understand." He grasped Tyler's hand. Tyler was relieved. He needed this. They walked towards the town, laughing and joking. It was just like old times, before Tyler got sick. 

Josh was still grasping Tyler's hand tight. "Is this like a platonic hand holding thing, or what?" Tyler felt the need to ask. Josh's face dropped. "If that's what you want it to be. I mean, this could be whatever you want it to be." Tyler thought about that. "What do you want it to be though Josh?" 

Josh bit his lip. "I don't want it to be a platonic hand holding thing. I want it to be a romantic hand holding thing." He knew how Tyler felt about sex, so he wasn't even going to bring that up. He didn't mind. "I'm a piece of shit though, Josh. I'm not worth it." Tyler was getting upset again.

Josh squeezed Tyler's hand tight. "You're my best friend. Nothing's going to change that. You can be my boyfriend and best friend." Tyler couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You know how I feel about that whole thing." Josh nodded. He had known Tyler was asexual for years. The complete repulsion to anything sexual at all was a dead giveaway. Josh knew not all asexuals were like that, he got that some were cool with sex stuff, they just didn't like it particularly.

Tyler was on a different end of the scale. The thought of sexual things freaked Tyler out on a deep level. Josh was the only person he had ever told. Of course Josh wouldn't tell anyone. "I'm not going to make you do anything. Of course you know that." Tyler knew that. He knew Josh had refused getting sexual favours at parties because Tyler was around and he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

Josh hadn't told Tyler anything about his sexual experiences. He would have liked someone to tell, but he wasn't going to upset Tyler. Upsetting Tyler was the last thing he wanted to do. "I just thought I better warm you of my y'know condition."

Josh made a noncommittal sound. "It's not a bad thing Tyler, you now that. It's not a condition. It's more a sexual orientation. It's like me saying I'm sick for being gay. It's stupid." Tyler held onto Josh's hand tight. "So are we dating now?" Tyler asked. Josh smile an impossibly perfect smile. "I guess so, you cool with that?" 

Tyler smiled. "I'm cool with that." Josh's hand found his arm draping around Tyler's waist, but Tyler didn't even flinch. 

He didn't even flinch, until a car pulled around the corner. There were loud teenagers in it. Tyler didn't like loud teenagers. 

Josh turned around and he realised they needed to get out of there immediately. 

The teenagers started shooting like crazy, it was like they had guns for hands. Both Josh and Tyler were dead before they hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright you weren't expecting that.
> 
> Don't hate me okay


End file.
